The evil of Chi Chi
by kultmaverick9000
Summary: A short spoof for all the Chi Chi bashers out there. Rated M for drug use.


Dragonball Z is not owned by me. It's owned by Akira Toriyama, funimation, toei animation, etc...

One day...

Chi-chi was busy cleaning up after Goku, Gohan and Goten had a massive dinner.

"Gohan, you need to go do your homework. You too Goten." Chi chi smiled as she gave the pile of dishes their pre-wash.

Suddenly, Gohan froze, his eyes rolled back and he collapsed on the floor. His mouth foamed and he started to convulse.

"Gohan!" Goku stood up and looked on at his son in horror. Chi-Chi gasped. "What's wrong with him?"

"Damn you Chi-Chi! You attacked his one weakness!" Goku frowned at his wife, speaking low.

"Weakness? What weakness?" She stared at her first born son, wondering what to do, kneeling down, and panicking.

"That H word." Goku scowled at Chi-Chi in disgust.

"H word?" Chi-Chi thought back to what she had said before. "You mean homework?"

Gohan's convulsions got worse and they could hear choking sounds coming from him.

"Damn it Chi-Chi! Enough is enough! Can't you see he's already in pain?"

"I never knew the mere mention of that would cause so much trauma." Chi-Chi cried. "I'm so sorry but what can we do to help him?"

Goku pulled a sensu bean from out of his rear and stuck it in Gohan's mouth. The seizure stopped and Gohan's eyes became clear, his normal breathing resumes. Taking a moment to get his bearings, Gohan got up and brushed himself off.

"She did it again, didn't she?" Gohan frowned, asking his Father.

"She did." Goku spat in disgust. "TWICE."

"Mother! This time you have gone too far!" Gohan raised a fist at the one who raised him, snarling. "Isn't it enough you have me studying and not training to defeat the next villain that always turns up?"

"B-B-but I just wanted you to get an education, so you could grow up and get a nice job. Besides you will always be my baby boy and I don't want to see you get hurt." Chi-Chi stepped back, afraid of the man she had raised.

"But don't you see Mother, I am the chosen one, I must be the one to defeat the next villain!" Gohan tried to show her clearly what was wrong with her thinking.

"Why you? We have Goku, Vegeta, Buu, Piccolo…."

"You don't understand at all! I am special. You fool!" Gohan growled, and his ki began to grow. At first his hair turned yellow and spiky, then electricity began to spark around him. Gohan kept on yelling and his ki began to rise, until his hair turned back to black but with blood-red highlights.

"Gohan! What happened to you?" Chi-Chi gasped, afraid of Gohan's now blood-red pupiless eyes.

"Now you've done it, Chi-Chi." Goku frowned, clenching his fists. "He's reached a new level, and I don't know if Gohan can control this new form."

"A new form?" Chi-Chi repeated, puzzled.

"Yes! I, Gohan, have reached a new peak of power. I have a new form now, super-saiyjin edgy!" Gohan announced to the heavens.

"Oh no! Not super-saiyjin edgy!" Goku gasped. "Please… Son… you need to stop!" He tried reaching out to Gohan.

"No! It is too late! Mother! This is what your horrible abuse has caused." Gohan yelled at Chi-Chi.

"Abuse? All I tried to do was try to help you learn so you could get a job when you grow up." Chi-Chi stepped back in horror.

"A job." Goku spat. "Why should he get a job? Why did I have to get a job? Why didn't you get a job, Chi-Chi?"

"I was home schooling my sons in their younger years. Besides, do you know how much work it is to feed you three?" Goku and Gohan gave her a blank look.

"Anyway, I just wanted my boy to get a good job, so he can survive…"

"Survive! Learning to fight is what I need to survive! The whole world would have been destroyed without me!" Gohan pointed a finger accusingly at Chi-Chi.

"Why you? We have that many warriors. Heck, we even have dragonballs we can use to wish a powerful warrior into existence…" Chi-Chi protested.

Suddenly this make Goku and Gohan stop in their tracks. They looked at each other, the same thought occurring in their head. "The dragonballs!" The both said in unison.

The next day...

"Arise mighty dragon Shenron, and grant my wish!" Goku raised his hands at the seven gathered dragonballs and light shot from them into the sky, until it formed into a long giant green dragon.

"Oh fuck it's you guys again. Okay, what do you want THIS time?" Shenron grumbled.

"Shenron, my Mother has caused a horrendous injustice. Making me study, and worse, do homework! You must fix this! My wish is to turn my monster of a Mother into someone more decent and understanding." Gohan yelled to the dragon. Why everyone is yelling at this point is beyond me.

"H-H-Homework! That WITCH! Say no more, I will change this at once." The dragon's eyes glowed red for an instant. "There you go, everything is fixed. Bye now." The dragon shot up into the air and the dragonballs were scattered again.

"Okay son, maybe for once, things will change for the better." Goku put his hand on his son's shoulder for comfort, also so he could instant transmission the two back to mount Poazu.

The walked back into their house to find Chi-Chi sprawled on the couch, smoking a bong.

"Wow! That dragon is amazing!" Gohan brighted. "Mum, are you okay?"

"Errrhh? Yeah yeah." Chi-Chi blinked her blood-shot eyes.

"Now the real test." Gohan coughed. "Mum, now that I am home, do you think I should be doing something?"

"Uhhhhh…" Was all Chi-Chi could do to ask.

"…Like …study.." Goku suggested, bracing himself.

"I unno." Chi Chi shrugged before returning to her bong and letting out a breath of smelly smoke.

"Yes! It worked!' Goku gave his son a bro-fist. "Now, without Chi-Chi being a harpy anymore, we can start our intense training for when the next villain shows up!"

"Yeah!" Gohan grinned.

Years later…..

Goku died from heart attack after eating too much bacon. Chi-Chi died after getting into a drug-fueled capsule-car accident. After eating his way through his Mother's (and late Grandfather's as the Ox-king died of old age) savings Gohan soon had no money to pay for food. Or electricity. Or water. Or land tax. Goten ran away to live with Trunks because he realised his brother had turned into a moron.

Soon Gohan was out on the street, begging for money for food. He tried getting a job, but since he dropped out of school and what skills he did learn as a kid long since atrophied, most employers found him too stupid to be any use.

Thus Son Gohan died of starvation, lying in the gutter. By the time a new-super powered enemy turned up to attack Earth, Gohan was long gone, Vegeta was owned like always happened to him, and the Earth was destroyed.

The end.

Dear readers: Stay in school!


End file.
